Tryst with Cardiac surgery
I do not have any idea as to what to write and publish in the public glare. But I would initially like to bring notice to my life and the things that I do on a daily basis. I am a doctor. Cardiac surgeon to be specific. I lately finished my Mch degree which stands for master of chirurgie, which is latin for master of surgery. This is the end of road to the 13 year long training program for a doctor. I started in 2008, joined MBBS in a small town called bellur. Did that for 5 and a half years, did Master of surgery in Bangalore medical college and finally Mch in AIIMS.
So u might think that I should be knowing things inside out, can answer on any queries that you have or be able to advice on all stuffs under the sun. No, that’s not true. I am now more scared of giving advice than when I was in MBBS. I now know the vastness and the futile pursuit of chasing behind all knowledge. Specialization is the answer. Knowing everything about some stuff is far better than knowing something about everything. In this time of information overload, basic knowledge is free for all. A patient can be more knowledgeable than a general practitioner in his area of interest.
So what have I gained from these 3 years in AIIMS Delhi. Firstly I had no exposure of cardiac surgery. It was like tirupathi darshan, so near yet so rare to witness. We were not posted in Jayadeva hospital, which was the partially government run heart hospital. We were told that this speciality is falling out of disrepute, people who take this, do so only if they are insanely passionate about it or who is fed up with the selection process (entrance examination), that they take it out of compulsion rather than a good career prospect. I once went into the famous Prithvi book store, which was the only medical book store in Bangalore, looking for a book on cardiac surgery. I asked him if he had that book, he frankly replied,” sir who does cardiac surgery these days?” That was a hard hitting reality check for me. Did I make a mistake coming into this branch?
So what made me chose this field? There is no single reason. As I alluded to before, l was neither incredibly passionate towards this field. I had not seen a single surgery, nor was I desperate to takeup any field which was easily available. Now that I think about it, I have a few rationalizations. My father wanted me to pursue this field. Bangalore has a history of famous heart surgeons. They were revered in all social circles. Although they were not famous only for surgeries. Some specialties did not appeal to me, like urology. It was too dull for my taste.
So before I continue with the assessment of each specialty, how can one come to any conclusion in the limited amount of time we spend in those departments? It is usually based on the opinions of people that surround us. It is the popular choice among the masses that nudge us into choosing a field. What is passion? How does someone become passionate about something if we have not worked in it or on it? That is why many of the passions wither out as we age. I heard many people say that their passion was cardiac surgery, but changed now. Any desire to pursue something comes from the pedestal that other people keep in society. Or for someone it is intellectually or otherwise challenging and finally the rewards we get with minimal input. Higher the reward, more attractive is the specialty.
As civilization has progressed, work is no longer a means to provide for our needs. Career for our current generation is no longer about providing for those needs, they are a means to provide meaning to their life. Careers which are highly fulfilling, influence a lot of people in a short period of time are the most demanding. That is why people chose civil service, even though it is not the highly paid job. Being a doctor was enough for our previous generations, but as science has progressed influencing a person to the fullest requires one to be a specialist.
Anyway ultimately I decided on two specialities. Cardiac surgery and plastic surgery. Plastic surgery was very good in our college. I found it to be really innovative to learn. But I had this misconception that there were no emergencies in plastic surgery and it doesn’t really save lives, which is not true at all. But cardiac surgery was meant to be. I think people in cardiac surgery are highly anal. They are the masters of delayed gratification. 30 years old and you still can’t do anything independently. Work under someone to learn the craft for another 5 years atleast, if all goes well.
So I gave AIIMS entrance exam immediately after my MS program. Long story short, I got rank 5, first in the waiting list. I had thought of alternate plans for after my MS. But because of my luck, one of the candidates in the first 4 flunked in his MS exit exam. So I got the seat. I entered the department in a clear daze. Didn’t know ABCD about the specialty, had forgotten all that I had read for the entrance exam and was in an unknown territory. Life was difficult in the initial days. Didn’t understand the language all of the times. Was in awe of the entire faculty in the department, was overwhelmed in the presence of these people.
As I ponder on the issue of passion, motivation and fulfilment, I have changed my opinion on these things. I think we have misplaced our idea about passion. Learning a skill in itself cannot be a passion for life, but treating or helping people with these problems should be the passion. “People” should take priority. When a person becomes the center of your passion, you will do whatever it takes to help him. I hope that is the motivation to innovate and improve in the field.
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